Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize