The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
