So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
