Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
