he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
