why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
sex in a hospital.. check
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
