For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
