their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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