My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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