whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
