I accidentally had phone sex last night
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
