It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
