It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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