She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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