Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
