hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize