i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
