He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
