Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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