he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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