Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
