her vagine was all disorganized.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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