His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
