I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize