New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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