Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize