dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
