He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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