How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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