I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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