so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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