i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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