I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
