he shaved USA in his pubs
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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