is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
