I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
he just fucked me for my cheese.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
