I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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