He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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