you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
