You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
