look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
