My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Can I color on your dick again?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
