plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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