I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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