I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
