wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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