another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
