I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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