Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Randomize
