I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
