why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
