You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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