My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
