I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just cropdusted the office
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
