I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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