There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
