There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
