It's just like the Real World with babies
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
