my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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