She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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