She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
