my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
