were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
