How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
