I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
