I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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