Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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