I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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